Am sure we’ve all had aspirations of becoming a professional player sometime within our lives (if you’re reading this and you are, good on ya! If you’re reading this and you’re not but still want to become one, 🎶 Don’t stop believing! 🎶)…
The same can be said of me, as I wanted to go pro and it would’ve been as a D(RLC), and today’s episode actually got me real pissed cause THE REPRESENTATION OF THIS PLAYER WITHIN SM24 IS NOTHING SHORT OF 🤬ING 💩!
😮💨
Idk… Maybe it’s a Spain thing since the last time I got this triggered was back in episode 2’s look at the legendary Sergio Ramos, and today will have the same type of energy, so let me caution you real quick:
Disclaimer: There will be zero 🤬 given in today’s episode. If you are easily offended then this won’t be the episode for you…. Viewer discretion is advised.
César “Bloodclart” Azpilicueta…. A player so good he could’ve played in the 90’s, and a player so professional that he’s still playing at the highest level in 2024…
A man who was the backbone of Chelsea’s 13-14, 16-17 title winning campaigns, as well as the 20-21 Champions league triumph. The heir to Ashley Cole’s throne as “The best 1v1 Fullback in world football” before the likes of Kyle Walker and Aaron Wan Bissaka. Make no mistake, we’re discussing a proper legend in his own way, today!
Now, to the sh*thousery… 😒
SM24 ATTRIBUTES
TECHNICAL ATTRIBUTES
As a technical player there was never a lot asked of César when playing in his preferred roles as a ‘Fullback’ in a back 4, or as a ‘General Defender’ within a back 3 since he does the bare minimum when in possession, but boy does he make up for it during defensive scenarios! So, when I saw that his defensive attributes were in the ’70’s’ I 🤬ing lost it… I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The best 1v1 defender being represented as just some average defensive minded ‘Fullback’… Where’s Vince Mchamon’s theme music when you need it cause there’s 🎶 NO CHANCE IN HELL🎶 that this will go unnoticed!
WHAT WE THINK
Before we showcase the changes, let me show you what some of Azpi’s managers that he’s played under had to say about his defensive capabilities:
So as it is clearly shown, Azpi is a player who every manager tends to adore, and his defensive capabilities stay intact. He may be 33, but you never lose the art of defending. On a different note, César doesn’t possess the technical capabilites on the ball at this moment within his career, in addition to playing more and more deeper on the pitch, so we had to decrease his Long Shots. A more concerning topic would be what the 🤬 is up with defenders and their Corner attributes… I’ve never seen Azpi nor Lukas (Klostermann) take a corner within their career, so anything above ’55’ for this metric is simply out of order… 🙄
PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES
For the average 33 year old Footballer you’d more than expect them to be in the decline in terms of their physical capabilities, but as you are probably coming to terms with, César Azpilicueta is simply not your average 33 year old! He has been ever consistent for many a year and it just goes to show via his Stamina and Workrate which represent César’s dedication to his craft expertly (still cannot forgive those defensive attributes, though)…
WHAT WE THINK
MENTAL ATTRIBUTES
A player whom Jugen Klopp would call a “Mentality Monster”… César isn’t the most aggressive player as he’s too “cute” for that (and by cute, I mean the way he defends); He continually displays high levels of Composure to maintain control of 8 out of every 10 duels he faces as a defender; To be considered as one of the best 1v1 defenders within your position clearly means that he’s got to have high levels of Concentration (especially when we consider the fact he’s mostly coming up against tricky wide players), and the managers have already did the work for me in terms of explaining how much of a 🤬ing leader this bloke truly is.
WHAT WE THINK
All in all, I still cannot accept the fact that there are going be millions of people around the world who use Atlético Madrid or have the intention of signing an experienced defender and will want to disregard choosing César Aspilicueta out of their fear that he’ll be too easy to play against. I mean, have such words ever been uttered before?! Shambles, man…
Anywho, I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, Soccermanagerite. We’ve got another blockbuster coming up soon, so don’t miss it, m’kay…
The Soccermanager Experience 